The Story of Soggy Toast....in Ten Parts...Part Three

Part Three: the Lonely Sandbag with a Leak

Here are some random, completely untrue facts about the new state that I have decided to call home:

- Colorado is both the 38th as well as the 43rd state of the United States.....it makes sense if you accept the fact that Idaho doesn't really exist.

- The state bird is the groundhog.

- Colorado is home to the highest population of nocturnal randomly howling dogs.

- Colorado and Kansas have been at war since 1861, but the Colorado Militia hasn't led an offensive for over a hundred years due to the fact that Kansas is so unorganized, they keep attacking themselves.

- Shuffleboard is outlawed in Denver.

- Not being smug is outlawed in Boulder.

- The state bird is the Mexican.

- The Rocky Mountains were originally named the 'Lenny Mountains', until Lenny got flattened by a rock.

- Colorado has the highest percentage of stolen American Flags in the states.

- Colorado has the second highest number of hacky sack related deaths, second only to Indiana of all places.....but that's probably because Indiana's state motto is "kill the hippies".

- Colorado is home to what is known as "the Most Unsuccessful Sea-Port in the World".

- The state bird is Bob Denver.

- About 34% of all Coloradans are not in the other 66% in this poll alone.

- The rain never makes it to the ground in Colorado. EVER!

- Denver has the third highest population of Emo kids, who buy their depression from Hot Topic.

- Just like every other state, Colorado is the birthplace of the cheeseburger, which is a bragging right I've always wondered about.

- Colorado is the home and headquarters for the Society of Cannibals against Rational Thought.....or P.E.T.A. for short.

- Four out of every three Coloradans believe in unicorns, whether they admit it or not.

- Greeting someone is considered 'foreplay' in Fort Collins.

- Colorado's state motto is "at Least We're Not Montana"....which is also the same state motto for Nevada.

...and that's enough for now. I will most definitely have more fun and completely untrue facts to share with you as the future unfolds for me in my new surroundings.