Quit falling on my Knife!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

As a person who as of late has access to cable television again, I have to state here that I fucking HATE Taco Bell commercials! The latest one being of a man in a giant test bunker testing nachos that have just been lowered to .99¢, and blowing out the windows by screaming "WOW!".....trying to proove that Taco Bell suffers no ill effect in the ever present "taste vs. cost" ratio theory we've all read so much about.
I just want to throw my coffee mug at the television!

I'm not being entirely fair to Taco Bell here. The truth of the matter is that I basically hate all commercials; actually, I hate all forms of advertising in general. I've always found it incredibly insulting when someone tries to cleverly "trick" me into thinking of their product first whenever I need (or think I need) a softdrink, new pair of shoes or adult diapers.
Many of my family believe that I should have gone into advertising due to my general disdain for the medium.....which makes no sense to me, seeing as I also have a hatred for the practice of putting babies on spikes, and no one has ever told me that I should pursue a career in that. I suppose it would come down to who offers the better benefits.

This brings me to one of my newest revulsions, the unnecessary drug campaign that has been flooding the airwaves and billboards for the past few years. Pills for weight loss, male enhancement (?), getting sleep, hair loss, being too tall, seeing unicorns, lycanthropy, fear of Alaskian Crabs, ect.
I recently was witness to the newest of these, a pill to combat RLS, or "Restless Leg Syndrome". Restless...Leg...Syndrome. Are you fucking kidding me?!
I'm guessing that this is just a new clever way to remarket Ambien or some other sleep aid, by trying to convince gullable folks that it could be their legs that are keeping them from getting sleep at night. Legs that feel more of a need to walk around and carry their host to the television to watch late night programing. I had no idea that lack of sleep could have such causes. This means that I actually suffered for over a year with SWSWENBSBAFANS....or "Sleeping With Someone Who Eats Nothing But Steamed Brocolli And Farts All Night Syndrome".....where was MY pill when I needed it?!

Maybe my family is right.....maybe this is my true calling. I'm sure I can come up with plenty of made-up conditions to sell people sugar pill placebos for. Grammaret, for Rachael and her typo symptoms. Graecusate, to help Bloomin' battle his being Greek condition. Clorox......for Clint.

And finally, Blogupril.....to help battle writing a pointless Blog on a whim,for myself.

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