Ground Zero and Thereabouts....

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

So, one question that I seem to asked frequently by far away friends is, "Are you still liking it in Denver?"...which strikes me as kinda funny....funny in the way that they might know something that I don't, like I might wake up one day and realize that living in a higher altitude has made my genitals shrink to the size of a squirrel's (yes, I DO realize that by the mere mention of genitals here I have doomed this blog to yet another onslaught of penis conversations within the following comments....damn you all in advance!), or that nobody has yet informed me that Denver has the highest population of Canadians outside of Canada and they are all very, very pissed off! But, until I discover either of those situations (or any other that is comparable) to be true, the answer is: Yes! I'm loving Denver.

I think my social hiatus as of late has been due in a good part to having finally been feeling comfortable with my life and surroundings after such a long stretch. Anyone who has known me personally for any length of time knows this to be true, that I go through long stages of inwardness, working on my own projects, living in my head and forgetting for the most part that the outside world is there until it marches into my room and demands money from me at gunpoint.....in which case I usually wet myself and never report the event to the police. Really, have you ever had to try to describe 'the World' to a detective? It's embarrassing......the looks they give you in the precinct.....judging me.....but I digress.

Part of what makes your immediate surrounds seem comfortable (or at least in my case) Is not only the environment that you create for yourself, but the environment created for you, that is. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I'll try to explain.





There's my little corner of the world right now....my home is in the cross-hairs, in case you want to send me puddings. I love this neighborhood, even though I'm not quite sure what neighborhood it is. Depending on who you talk to, I either live in Capital Hill or Wash Park. From what I can tell, there are two sets of arguments going on about this area: Either people from CP or WP trying to claim it as part of their's, or people from CP and WP trying to deny it and push the responsibility onto one another. Basically it comes down to the fact that I live in a Denver void, which seems fitting. I think I'll just name this place Void Park, make a flag and declare war on the border neighborhoods.
Like I said, it's not just the environment that you create, but the environment that you are a part of that becomes part of settling. For me here, that constitutes a lot of little things; such as the fact that I live in a North facing apartment that keeps me out of any direct sunlight, but still gives me enough light to grow some of my favorite Low-Light plants (I actually bought a damn fern a few days ago! Holy Shit! I've become one of 'those' guys! All I could think about when purchasing it was Steve Martin....and for that reason, the fern is now known as "Larry the Fern', with apologies to Wunk). During the late evenings, or as scientists like to refer to as 'night', I can hear the ghostly sounds of the trains in the distance, which is one of my all time favorite sounds, and one of the things I missed most about moving away from Louisville.
There is a fox that frequents these streets. Now your run-of-the-mill normal Animal Planet type foxes, no. This one is a mutant lab-experiment escapist giant fox. He has followed me home on a few occasions, when walking late at night, and I've come close to getting it's trust enough to almost pet it. Maybe we'll become friends soon.
My new upstairs neighbor wants to be a rock star. The people who lived there before him wanted to be porn stars, so I imagine that this room above me exudes some sort of alternative inspiration, or harbors a muse with a sense of humor. The porn stars were hilarious due to the sheer volume and content of their fucking. The place I lucked out in moving into is fairly well sound insulated, and I usually hear very little.....but I heard EVERYTHING that went on during their frequent Rail Sessions (as did most of Denver I suspect)...and Holy Shit!! honestly, on a few occasions I could also hear other neighbors of mine break out into laughter, which made the whole situation that much more humorous. But, they moved away. The new neighbor I find as equally as entertaining as well as far less intrusive. Yes, he wants to be a rock star, but instead of playing guitar and singing, picture clarinet and singing. Yep. Really. I mean, this would be just as funny even if he didn't suck! One minute of clarinet followed by a few off key verses of lyrics, and repeat. After two or three of these comes.....THE CLARINET SOLO!!! I can't wait for the cd to come out.
And finally, we come to my new favorite neighbor I have lovingly named the 'Fuck Guy'. I don't know if he is a newly transplanted addition to this area, or if he just went unnoticed during the closed window months, but I do believe that he is to be a regular daily fixture....seeing as he is going on a week straight now. I can't tell exactly where he is. He's not in my building, and I don't know if he's actually in a nearby building or outside hiding in the shadows, but every evening, near the same time of day, he emerges. Actually, he's been going strong the whole time I've been writing this entry.
What his shtick is seems to be yelling 'Fuck' in a variety of ways for 2 - 3 hours every evening. "Fuck you!" "Fuck this!" "What the Fuck!" "Come the Fuck on!"....and you get the point.
I was talking to Christina about the Fuck Guy earlier today and we were coming up with a few theories: He has a rare form of daily-short-term-tourettes; He works in an environment that denies him his daily allowance of letting off some Fuck; He's doing his best to argue with the voices in his head....and we all should fear the day that he actually stops yelling.
Personally, my favorite idea is the second one, if for no other reason that the picture I have in my head - "I'll be back honey, I have to go let off some Fuck, I'm completely backed-up with it!"

I realize that I haven't really mentioned much about Denver itself here, and quite honestly it's because I still know very little of it. I have only begun to scratch the surface of this city after my stressful and disorganized move and social hiatus. I am hoping to change that during this summer and fall....learning more about the city and it's corners, the events and culture.....but, then again, that requires actually making friends here and being social....the very thought of which gives me the heebie jeebies.

Maybe I'll just go outside and yell Fuck a lot?

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