Not for Lack of Trying…

…or, a Call for Help.

Recently I came across the images that are posted here and my head was flooded with ghosts of familiarity.

This image was used for the 1984 film "Death Warmed Up"

I KNOW that I have seen much more of this artist's work before, most likely on other posters, horror book covers and magazines, but for the life of me I cannot remember where nor can I find out who the artist is.

I'm not sure where this image was used before

Reverse image searching pulls up very little info, and there is no mention of artwork or their artist in the IMD for 'Death Warmed Up'. So I come asking all of you, my fellow artists and horror fan friends, if ANYONE has any clue as to the artist behind these images....or possibly other images by the same artist that could help in the search....so that I can lay this search to rest before it becomes an obsession and I find myself wearing soiled bathrobes and having tea-parties with boiled egg friends....

Thank You!

Throwing Miniature Candies at Children…

I have been wanting to update this here blog type thing for a few weeks now, but have found myself too busy making costumes for this fine day as well as the Denver Zombie Crawl. I find myself without time today as well actually, but wanted to tell you all:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

There are so many thoughts and memories that I’ve wanted to share here, but like I said, I haven’t left myself the time. So instead I’ll share with you a link to a blog of another who appears to share the same nostalgic love of Halloween:

She Walks Softly

….and I promise to return after these festivities with updates of everything I’ve been up to these past several weeks.
Have a great night!!!

Things Held Together with Butters and Spite...

or The Year of the Head on a Plate…

In all the time that I have been doing this here blog-type thing, (yes, look everyone, he’s mentioning his own blog yet again) the most frequent question I get asked is where the titles of these posts come from, and I will take this return to blogging after a semi-long absence to further ignore that question and post about something else entirely….namely, the Death of Crumbly Nevertheless (finally).

A few of you might, at this point, be asking “What is Crumbly Nevertheless?”, and I will tell these same few to go and sit in the corner while wearing these bags filled with pissed-off ants over their heads…..the rest of us will continue on from here without them. But if I was to answer that question, it would go something like this:

Crumbly Nevertheless (blog) started as an excuse to justify my doing the little strange things that keep me happy. It was another small online corner of the world for me to post everything from the sketches I was doing at my day job in secret from the boss-type peoples, to making a potato zombie army and photographing scenes of the potato zombie outbreak (yes, I have done this, I just haven’t shared any images for fear of very uncomfortable jackets and padded cells smelling of piss), etc.

And like most of the things that I start to do on any sort of regular basis, Crumbly Nevertheless started to take it’s own shape and direction, gaining it’s own voice, look and style….becoming primarily about the 3”x5” drawings done entirely in ballpoint pen.

(this is where we get to the Death of Crumbly Nevertheless that I have been mentioning the past few posts) When I started doing these drawings over two years ago, I had no direction or time-frame in mind…like I said, it was just another thing I did that kept me happy. For all I knew, I could have done these drawings indefinitely, until the day I am committed or murdered by a Canadian Dakota Fanning Fan Club fanatic…and don’t get me wrong, I WILL still be drawing these little guys until that time, they just will no longer have their own dedicated showing space.

I think Crumbly hit it’s peak at the Seven Days of Dr. Seuss, or possibly with the beginning of the layout of the Crumbly Nevertheless book. Whatever the case, for me Crumbly has basically run it’s course as it’s own entity, and it’s time I took it for that long walk into the woods with my shotgun….and then make Crumbly Nevertheless soup out of it’s remains, which I imagine to be fairly oily and tasting of dead skunk ass.
On second thought, maybe I’ll just stop updating the Crumbly Nevertheless Blog and let it starve…..who knows? Maybe it can survive on it’s own by attacking and sucking the life from neighboring blogs, leaving them dried husks of shriveled family photos and YouTube ICP videos about rainbows being all magical?

But, like I said, this is not completely the end of these little drawings….I do have plans in the works for them.
First, the book is nearing the end of it’s third (and hopefully last) revision. It will contain every published Crumbly Drawing so far, as well as a few dozen that have never been shown. The drawings themselves will become available for people to buy as soon as the book becomes published (either in an online gallery, or on Etsy…I haven’t decided the best avenue just yet), as will prints of many of them.

And what of the Crumbly Nevertheless Blog? Well, all of the posts that exist there currently will be blended into this blog in the coming days, and it will be left in the dark, eventually having no visitors due to the lack of updates. I imagine that it will become transparent and blind, relying on echo location to find whatever prey accidentally stumbles it’s way……or maybe I’ll eventually delete it.

 

Failure of the Chum-Burger Market…

Let me just start by expressing how much I love it when people survive a serious accident that would kill most others, and then emerge finding and thanking God. I mean, seriously….screw the doctors that worked tirelessly to save the person, let’s thank God for waving his magic wand and saving the life. Never mind the fact that this same God who has the power over life and death could have just as easily intervened and spared the victim the terrible suffering when the person was originally run over by a semi and then chewed on for hours by electric land sharks, only to be left in the ditch for a few weeks by the passing tornado that picked them up…I’ll stop….you get the point.
First, I get it. It’s a hard thing to process when coming face to face with one’s mortality, and while for some it brings with it a renewed appreciation for the life that they have, others seem to be forced to understand it by suddenly believing in Dungeons and Dragons in which a God has just rolled them a saving throw with his twelve sided dice.

I suppose I would be able to swallow it better if the victims (or survivors) (or critical thinking impaired) were to apply this to other aspects of their lives. I long to hear a variety in the stories that God has gotten involved in.
“I thank God for curing me of my twenty year bed-wetting condition!” or “I knew God was right there with me, helping me take that left turn with one hand while I used the other to stuff my slack-jawed pie hole with the convenient-store bought microwave burrito.”
Or how about “I would like to thank God for the minimal possible punishment I am receiving after beating my wife in public in Vail, Colorado!”

….and with THAT out of my caffeine fueled system, I will admit here that I am again aware that this is not the update that I’ve promised twice now. But I will not leave you this time without a little piece of my artistic doings behind these pages…..does that make any sense or am I waxing poetic a little too much?

One of the many side projects that I have been doing and returning to for these many years is my collection of zombiespoons. For those of you paying attention, you’ll be used to the fact that I’ll go through stages of producing many new ones, followed by long periods of nothing……much like this blog……and visits outside where people dwell…
In any case, I seem to be starting one of those production periods yet again (of both blogging and the creation of zombiespoons), and I share with you one that I honestly can’t believe I had never done in all this time….that is, just drawing him:

So yes, not only can you expect a barrage of random thoughts pouring from my brain (like the one above) into simple font form on this here computing machine, but now you can also look forward to the next chapter in zombiespoon personas….maybe even a Zombiespoon Book? You didn’t hear that from me……even though you did.

Technorati Tags: zombiespoon,chum,shark week,Chevy Chase,God,art,drawing,Charlie Sheen

(Re-Post) The Jeans are fine, it all the Drinking and Whoring that's making you Fat...

...or the Truth about Proverbs Revealed!

(this is a re-post of an entry originally written November 27th, 2005)

There are plenty of fish in the sea.
- Yes, but there are also sharks...and they'll eat you!

There’s more than one way to skin a cat.
- But the end result is always a sticky screaming skinless cat.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.
- Unless of course, it happens to roll through a patch of sticky, stone-sucking moss....found primarily in England.

There’s no accounting for taste.
- Which is why you don't see many successful Taste Accountant Offices around.

Time heals all wounds.
- Except for a severed head.

Two heads are better than one.
- See the above proverb to understand why.

Variety is the spice of life.
- Cannibals can come in all shapes and sizes.

Walls have ears.
- I suggest that you start wearing tin-foil and keeping to yourself.

A watched pot never boils.
- Unless of course you fill it with water and put it over a heat source, dumbass.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
- I dare you to refer to a woman as "gander" to her face.

When it rains, it pours.
- Unless it's just a slight drizzle, you gloomy bastard.

A woman’s work is never done.
- Which is why I suggest that you beat her....she's making a fool out of you.

A word to the wise is sufficient.
- The wise tend to bore easily.

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
- But shit is still the best fly bait of all.

You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink.
- But you can drown that ungrateful bastard of a horse.

You cant fit a round peg in a square hole.
- Unless you were to use tools, which is what got us all out of the jungles in the first fucking place!

You cant make a silk purse from a sows ear.
- And, seriously...a silk purse won't go with your new Sow Ear dress you made.

You cant squeeze blood from a turnip.
- Not without first soaking the turnip in blood for a minimum of 24 hours.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
- But a bullet in his brain will keep him away for good, and you could stop eating all those god damned apples.

Beauty is only skin deep.
- Yeah, tell that to the screaming cat.

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
- The main reason world domination has never been achieved by those in cahoots with mice.

Better late than never.
- Not wise to say when your job was simply to deliver life saving medicines.

Blood is thicker than water.
- Which is why a turnip needs to soak in it for so long.

Brevity is the soul of wit.
- Stupid people tend to babble on and on and on...

Cleanliness is next to godliness.
- That is of course, unless you worship a Mud God, then the cleanest of people are obviously witches and should be burned!

Cold hands, warm heart.
- The beginnings of hypothermia.

Curiosity killed the cat.
- No, the skinning of the cat led to it's death...let's not blame how it got there.

The devil is in the details.
- Which is why the Cliff Note version of the Bible is so popular in churches.

Don’t cry over spilt milk.
- Unless your captor swore he'd fucking kill you if he returned to find the milk spilt...then cry your eyes out bitch!

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
- Unless you have reason to believe that it swallowed your keys...it's a far worse thing to just gut the horse in front of the giver without first being sure.

Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.
- That is, unless you happen to have a bath-water baby....then by all means throw it out....what would the community think?

The early bird catches the worm.
- But in the end, it's still a worm and tastes like ass...I suggest sleeping in and then having some coffee.

Every cloud has a silver lining.
- Why then, have people not made their fortunes as cloud miners?

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Smart people stink and have no friends.

Give him enough rope and hell hang himself.
- Which is far better than giving him the materials to make a shiv to stab you with!

Haste makes waste.
- The reason behind the low cost of housing near Haste Factories.

He who laughs last, laughs best.
- Those that tend to chuckle first get the ever loving crap kicked out of them.

Ignorance is bliss.
- Yes, everyone on Jerry Springer seem so damn happy.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
- Which fails to explain why plagiarism is so ill received.

Knowledge is power.
- Really really smart people could power a city block, while those that are merely clever struggle keeping a string of xmas lights lit.

Love conquers all.
- This explains why Hitler lost...he just didn't love enough.

The meek shall inherit the Earth.
- It is very likely that the Great Meek Uprising will happen in your lifetime.

Old soldiers never die; they only fade away.
- So what exactly is buried in those cemeteries neighboring Veteran Hospitals?

A picture is worth a thousand words.
- Photographers are the most boring people on earth.

Out of sight, out of mind.
- Blind people are all insane!

Poets are born, not made.
- But ignored by everyone else nevertheless...now mimes, they are made in labs!

Procrastination is the thief of time.
- When Procrastination was finally arrested in '73, nearly three hundred years was discovered in the crawlspace or buried in the backyard.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
- Even the very best of pudding photographs can be faked, plus then you'd have to listen to the damn photographer for at least a thousand words!

The worm turns.
- Yeah...wait, what?!