Today, I am proud to announce, that I discovered the joys of altitude sickness! Hot damn! For those of you not familiar with this condition, let me just say that it is a lot like having a very bad flu only instead of being brought on by a microscopic virus, it is brought on by Colorado.
Yep, I have made it to the fine state of Colorado, where the air is thinner, the mountains are in full view, and blood is apparently replaced by goo. This is a very strange area; nothing over two stories tall exists, there are no such things as 24 hour convienient stores, and Kansas is right to the East of here!
I started this blog this morning actually, with the intentions of summing up my travels thus far.....but then the vomitting hit me and afterwards I spent the rest of the day in bed dreaming of Emo kids digging for potatoes that screamed when unearthed. Now it's 3 in the morning here, and although I do feel better than when I was bent over a toilet, I still feel spent.
So, hello to everyone! I'm still alive, and I'll write more later when I feel up to it.
Oh, and I have recently been "tagged" again (thanks Rachael).....so I suppose that I need to come up with ten more facts to share with the lot of you. Bah!
Tag Body Spray smells like Cat Urine, and other useless factoids...
Monday, May 7, 2007
Damn you Shoobedobedobedooooo!! I am now required by law to answer this request.
"The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 5 people to be tagged, list their names, and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog. ENJOY!!!"
So, here are my 10 facts in no particular order and in no real related subject or category.
May you all learn a little more about me as well as leave a dinner in the freezer for too long, causing it to suffer from severe freezer-burn and render it inedible!
#1- I fell down on the treadmill today at the gym I've been going to. I had my iPod sitting in the tray infront of me, and when I got the speed up to a good run, the iPod bounced it's way free and fell to the fast moving tread below. My first instinct was to try to catch it, which caused me to trip and land on my knee. The iPod had already been sent into the wall behind, and I followed, but not before losing the knee of my workout pants as well as most of the skin on my knee. I couldn't answer the people who were asking me if I was ok, because I was laughing too hard.
Needless to say, yes, the room was filled with very cute women today.
#2- It is unwise to touch my neck....EVER!!
#3- I have a fear of shitting myself while at a workplace. I used to work with Chad at a place called Strategic Marketing (which is a proud sponsor of Hair Club for Men) and it had one restroom for the men that was ALWAYS occupied! I am a fairly regular person, and when I have to go, I HAVE to go. But, it seemed that the restroom was always being used by someone who would be checking their hair, masturbating to the newest Financial Rag, or whatever else a man does in a bathroom for up to 40 fucking minutes at a time! I came up with the plan to create an emergency "I crapped myself" kit, that would contain a clean pair of underwear and pants, a lot of wet-naps and some garbage bags. I planned to hide this kit in the ceiling behind one of the removable panels in the restroom....but scrapped the whole idea deciding I'd rather just shit in the office of the person taking their time in the restroom, if it ever came down to that.
#4- I absolutely hate squirrels. Fuzzy tailed fucking tree rats.
#5- I suffer from the occasional night terror, which I blame my parents for. One of my earliest memories is of my room in Kansas City when I was either 2 or 3. Somehow, my parents had acquired a few dozen promotional posters for TWA which they used as wallpaper on the wall across from my bed. Thinking back on them, they were actually very cool, containing great seventies style illustrations of the different countries that TWA would go to. (I wish I had them now....they were really cool). But, the one directly in front of my bed, and in the center, was the one for India....which was an illustration of the profile of an elephant's head. It was a highly decorated elephant, with gold and tassels and what not, but the elephant's eye was proportionally small and smack in the center of the head. At night the room would be pitch black but the eye would be visible. The only visible thing in the room.....just starring at me. It terrified me, and I slept very little....I would just lay there and stare back.
I think my parents did that to me on purpose.
#6- I cannot stand soft drinks. I prefer to get my caffeine from coffee.
#7- I met Andre the Giant in Ohio when I was ten.
#8- I have a dead hand. That is, I came very close to losing my drawing hand in October of 97 when I lost my temper at work (Kinko's) and put my hand through a gumball machine (the gumball machine was an accident....I was aiming for the breakroom lockers which the manager and I had designated as the Kinko's punching bag) and got a glass shard through my wrist. The glass severed my nerves, opened my artery, severed some tendons and lodged itself in between radius and ulna bones. This was just the beginning of the story.....the longer version goes on to tell about how I was misplaced at the hospital, nearly bled to death, was told that I would never have use of that hand again, two operations by Dr. Kutz (luckily one of the best hand surgeons) and a lot of physical therapy. I have since regained all the mobility and strength in my right hand, but have absolutely no feeling in it any longer, besides the thumb. Hence....I have a dead hand, and a cool scar.
#9- I hate wind chimes....actually, I dislike the sounds of bells altogether. It's like nails on a chalkboard for me. I used to live below one of my best friends, Clint Allen....who always promised me that he's take that fucking windchime down from outside my bedroom window, but he never did. It's ok though, because I had keys to his apartment and I peed in his bleach while he was out one day.
#10- I have a strange love for old, weathered or otherwise just strange and creepy dolls. I collect them, and have actually ruined a date with a woman upon her seeing my collection after being invited in for a drink, which was code for sex. She never spoke to me after that.
Alright....and now I'm required to Tag 5 other people with this. Damn!
#1- Clint Allen....because he hasn't posted a blog for a long time.
#2- Bloomin'.....just for the fact that he's going to say that he's hot somewhere in the following comments.
#3- Elizabeth....she is probably not going to do this, even though she should.
#4- Rachael....so I can make fun of all her typos.
#5- Mungmopper (me brother)....for obvious reasons, plus, I love his blogs and he hasn't done one forever.
"The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 5 people to be tagged, list their names, and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog. ENJOY!!!"
So, here are my 10 facts in no particular order and in no real related subject or category.
May you all learn a little more about me as well as leave a dinner in the freezer for too long, causing it to suffer from severe freezer-burn and render it inedible!
#1- I fell down on the treadmill today at the gym I've been going to. I had my iPod sitting in the tray infront of me, and when I got the speed up to a good run, the iPod bounced it's way free and fell to the fast moving tread below. My first instinct was to try to catch it, which caused me to trip and land on my knee. The iPod had already been sent into the wall behind, and I followed, but not before losing the knee of my workout pants as well as most of the skin on my knee. I couldn't answer the people who were asking me if I was ok, because I was laughing too hard.
Needless to say, yes, the room was filled with very cute women today.
#2- It is unwise to touch my neck....EVER!!
#3- I have a fear of shitting myself while at a workplace. I used to work with Chad at a place called Strategic Marketing (which is a proud sponsor of Hair Club for Men) and it had one restroom for the men that was ALWAYS occupied! I am a fairly regular person, and when I have to go, I HAVE to go. But, it seemed that the restroom was always being used by someone who would be checking their hair, masturbating to the newest Financial Rag, or whatever else a man does in a bathroom for up to 40 fucking minutes at a time! I came up with the plan to create an emergency "I crapped myself" kit, that would contain a clean pair of underwear and pants, a lot of wet-naps and some garbage bags. I planned to hide this kit in the ceiling behind one of the removable panels in the restroom....but scrapped the whole idea deciding I'd rather just shit in the office of the person taking their time in the restroom, if it ever came down to that.
#4- I absolutely hate squirrels. Fuzzy tailed fucking tree rats.
#5- I suffer from the occasional night terror, which I blame my parents for. One of my earliest memories is of my room in Kansas City when I was either 2 or 3. Somehow, my parents had acquired a few dozen promotional posters for TWA which they used as wallpaper on the wall across from my bed. Thinking back on them, they were actually very cool, containing great seventies style illustrations of the different countries that TWA would go to. (I wish I had them now....they were really cool). But, the one directly in front of my bed, and in the center, was the one for India....which was an illustration of the profile of an elephant's head. It was a highly decorated elephant, with gold and tassels and what not, but the elephant's eye was proportionally small and smack in the center of the head. At night the room would be pitch black but the eye would be visible. The only visible thing in the room.....just starring at me. It terrified me, and I slept very little....I would just lay there and stare back.
I think my parents did that to me on purpose.
#6- I cannot stand soft drinks. I prefer to get my caffeine from coffee.
#7- I met Andre the Giant in Ohio when I was ten.
#8- I have a dead hand. That is, I came very close to losing my drawing hand in October of 97 when I lost my temper at work (Kinko's) and put my hand through a gumball machine (the gumball machine was an accident....I was aiming for the breakroom lockers which the manager and I had designated as the Kinko's punching bag) and got a glass shard through my wrist. The glass severed my nerves, opened my artery, severed some tendons and lodged itself in between radius and ulna bones. This was just the beginning of the story.....the longer version goes on to tell about how I was misplaced at the hospital, nearly bled to death, was told that I would never have use of that hand again, two operations by Dr. Kutz (luckily one of the best hand surgeons) and a lot of physical therapy. I have since regained all the mobility and strength in my right hand, but have absolutely no feeling in it any longer, besides the thumb. Hence....I have a dead hand, and a cool scar.
#9- I hate wind chimes....actually, I dislike the sounds of bells altogether. It's like nails on a chalkboard for me. I used to live below one of my best friends, Clint Allen....who always promised me that he's take that fucking windchime down from outside my bedroom window, but he never did. It's ok though, because I had keys to his apartment and I peed in his bleach while he was out one day.
#10- I have a strange love for old, weathered or otherwise just strange and creepy dolls. I collect them, and have actually ruined a date with a woman upon her seeing my collection after being invited in for a drink, which was code for sex. She never spoke to me after that.
Alright....and now I'm required to Tag 5 other people with this. Damn!
#1- Clint Allen....because he hasn't posted a blog for a long time.
#2- Bloomin'.....just for the fact that he's going to say that he's hot somewhere in the following comments.
#3- Elizabeth....she is probably not going to do this, even though she should.
#4- Rachael....so I can make fun of all her typos.
#5- Mungmopper (me brother)....for obvious reasons, plus, I love his blogs and he hasn't done one forever.
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